Developing a Listening Ear
An excerpt from Becoming Church: A Trail Guide for Starting Fresh Expressions
The following is an excerpt from my book Becoming Church: A Trail Guide for Starting Fresh Expressions.
Fresh expressions begin in a prolonged process of deep listening: listening to God and listening to your community. Your community is filled with local guides and helpful information. As you listen, you will look for where God is moving in the community. Tomáš Halík calls this process seeking the hidden God—“the God whom we must seek and find in the lives of people beyond the visible boundaries of the Church.”
Before you go out into your community, practice listening in your home, in your close friendships, and at your workplace. Here are a few tips:
Be curious. Ask God for a generous helping of curiosity. Approach others as a learner. Every person you meet has something to show you about God, about life, and about the world. All you have to do is listen to them.
Stop talking. Our culture has put a high emphasis on having answers. Listening is about asking a good question and letting the other person talk. Ask questions that help you to understand the person in front of you.
Give your full attention. Jesus is remarkable at this. Rowan Williams noticed, “[Jesus] took it for granted that if there was somebody around, that somebody was worth his company—and that’s how the church started.” Once someone starts talking, try to internalize what they are saying. If you feel your attention wandering, gently pull it back to the person in front of you.
Stop making everything about you. Resist relating what someone says to your own life. This one is hard. There might be a time for you to share with them that you have walked a similar path, but this is not the time.
Don’t give advice. You might have a brilliant idea for how to fix all their problems. Save it for later. Jesus resists giving advice even when others are practically begging for it. He loves to answer a question with a question.